Three Stages of Love

Falling in love involves three stages of love: the initial feelings of lust or romantic love, physical attraction, and finally a deeper emotional attachment. Reaching the final stage of love isn't just about luck or unconditional acceptance. You can reach the final stage of love with these seven tips for a healthy love life. To be enjoyed, the three stages of love or stages of relationships need to be understood.

What Are the Three Stages of Love?

The three stages of love are the same for everyone: lust or romantic love, physical attraction, and emotional attachment. The stages of love or stages of relationships aren't necessarily separated by markers like anniversaries or events (such as getting married). Rather, the three stages of love blend together in one long stroke of love.

Not everyone reaches or stays in the final stage of love, which is when separation or divorce becomes an option.

Three Stages of Love

Lust or romantic love is the first stage of love. It's driven by testosterone and estrogen. Mating is the evolutionary purpose of this stage of love; it creates strong physical attraction and sets the stage for emotional attachment. In this stage of relationship, endorphins soak your brain and you're immersed in intense pleasurable sensations. Your lover is perfect, ideal, made for you. In this stage of love you feel exhilarated and even "high" (similar to the feeling you get after you eat really good chocolate or have a great workout). You feel infactuated in this stage of relationship.

Physical attraction and power struggles make up the second stage of love (the lovesick phase). You may lose your appetite, need less sleep, and daydream about your lover on the bus, during meetings, in the shower. In this stage of love, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are racing through your body and brain. You're also trying to shape your lover into your ideal partner – which is where the power struggles come in. In this stage of relationship, you're becoming more realistic, and you two may fight about things like whether or not to buy organic food or listen to country music. The infatuation is wearing off, a strong emotional attachment begins to set in, and feelings of infactuation fade.

Emotional attachment or unconditional acceptance is the third stage of love. It involves commitment, partnership, and even children (a fear of intimacy prevents many from reaching this stage of love). In this stage of relationship, you're aware of both positive and negative traits in your partner, and you've decided you want to build a life together. Confrontation is most likely to occur in this stage of love (though if you're authentic and honest, it'll also happen in the second stage of love). You and your partner will either work towards a healthy, loving relationship or decide to call it quits.