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Thursday, October 02, 2008

Overcoming Fear of Intimacy - Part 1

Overcoming fear of intimacy means you need to learn to be yourself in your relationship. Simple in theory, difficult in practice. Intimacy in relationships involves sharing what you really think, believe, and feel. It's about opening up your heart and mind, and letting others do the same. It's risky, which is why fear of intimacy often develops.

Overcoming fear of intimacy can improve your relationships and deepen your life.

Intimacy is similar to authenticity, in that both involve revealing your true self. Fear of intimacy is common, and can be related to fear of commitment – but they’re not the same thing. You can be married or committed to your partner, but not emotionally intimate. You can be in love, but not connected. Overcoming fear of intimacy allows real emotional and physical connections.

Signs of possible fear of intimacy:

  • Deliberate withholding of personal information is probably fear of intimacy.
  • Withdrawing when others talk about their thoughts and feelings. Protecting yourself often reveals fear of intimacy.
  • Critical of yourself or others is fear of intimacy.
  • Feelings of anger or discomfort when others voice their thoughts and opinions show a fear of intimacy.
  • Lack of affection with loved ones can indicate fear of intimacy.

Don’t forget that some people are simply less demonstrative about their feelings; this doesn't necessarily indicate a fear of intimacy. You can work on your self to become more intimate, if you’d like, but you can’t change your loved ones.

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