A SERIES OF BUMPY MOUTHFULS

I say these lines to mouthy fellows who intentionally use pompous words(big words)to satiate their whims(impress guys). But, boy,do I know what they mean!!

" In promulgating your esoteric cogitations and articulating superficial, sentimental and psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your extempore decantations have rodomontade veracious veracity. Sedalously, avoid all pusillanimous vacuity, pestiferous profanity and similar transgressions."

Could someone 'decipher' these lines for me?!

PLEASE BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF

Here are the answers to Sunday's brain teasers

Question one

1. Martin is 33 years old today which is three times as old as his brother Henry was when he, Martin, was the age his brother Henry is today. How old is Henry?


Answer...

Take the present age of Henry to be Y. Thus, Martin was Y years old when Henry was 11 years old (Martin is three times as old as his brother Henry was when he, Martin, was the age his brother Henry is today). Do you catch the drift?
Therefore:

Martin :/ Henry
33 YEARS :/ Y YEARS

Y YEARS :/ 11 YEARS

What is Y?
Martin's present age (33 years) = Y + 11
33 = Y + 11
33-11 = Y
22 = Y
Henry is 22 years old.

Question two

2.It's Tuesday and I say: "I'll be back three days before one week after the day after tomorrow." When shall I be back?

Answer...

If it is Tuesday, then we start counting one week the day after tomorrow, that is Thursday. So it goes, I'll be back three days before next Thursday. This will be Tuesday. So I'll be back on Tuesday.

Question three

3. Twelve mangoes are hanging high up. Twelve men pass and each takes a mango. Eleven mangoes are left hanging. How can this be?

Answer...

There are 12 mangoes. Each takes a mango and 11 remain. So it apparently appears that Each is the name of a person. (Sorry I didn't capitalize the 'E' in each (in the question)).

Question four

4. A man stands looking at the picture of a man and says: "Sisters and brothers have I none, but this man's father is my father's son." Whose picture is he looking at?

Answer...

This man has neither brothers nor sisters. So who is the man's father's son? It is HE! Thus, if the father of the man in the picture is the man's (man looking at picture) father's son and HE is his father's son, he is looking at his son's picture!!!!

....... I hope you had a good time with them.

CAN YOU FIGURE THESE OUT?!!!!

Do you pride yourself as being one of the people who is least puzzled by brainteasers? Let's see your muscle and brawn...

1. Martin is 33 years old today which is three times as old as his brother Henry was when he, Martin, was the age his brother Henry is today. How old is Henry?
.......................................................

2.It's Tuesday and I say: "I'll be back three days before one week after the day after tomorrow." When shall I be back?
.......................................................

3. Twelve mangoes are hanging high up. Twelve men pass and each takes a mango. Eleven mangoes are left hanging. How can this be?
.......................................................

4. A man stands looking at the picture of a man and says: "Sisters and brothers have I none, but this man's father is my father's son." Whose picture is he looking at?
........................................................
Goodluck with these!!!

A BEGGAR'S PENDULUM

Sitting there, round the corner,
Is him,
He is there everyday,
A bowl, brown and dirty,
Between his shaky legs.

He looks up as you pass,
His eyes begging for mercy,
His lips chattering and begging,
Just a shilling, he pleads,
You look down and sympathize.

Into your pocket you dive,
And bring out the ‘unwanted’ shillings,
This way and that you look,
Zap! You throw them,
Into the dirty, brown bowl.

A wide grin comes to his face,
And juts his brown buck teeth,
Thank you, he says,
By then you have long gone,
Not wanting to look back.

At the end of the day,
He gathers up his tool of trade,
His dirty, brown bowl,
And wobbles to the end of the street,
Where he will spend the cold night.

Clink, clink, he counts
The ‘unwanted shillings’,
One, two, three, he nods,
Picks up some and saunters,
To the shop for milk and bread.

Picks up the rest,
And hides them in a fold,
Of his dirty, creased garment,
Then dozes off and sleeps on the concrete,
Waiting for the break of day,
When he will start begging again.

PLIGHT PERSONIFIED

The eyes take a far away look,
Tears well up and trickle,
He sniffs and tries to look a man,
But the tears won’t just let him,

His mother, bedridden,
His father, disheveled,
A knot forms in his heart,
And succumbs to paroxysms of anguish.

The pain sears through his heart,
Breaking a nerve too many,
The nerve to co-ordinate,
The nerve to feel happy.

Mother passes on,
In the wee hours
He wakes up,
A cold lifeless form greets him.

Despondency sets in,
On father and son,
It’s there to stay,
Oh what suffering!

Father, all nerves broken,
Succumbs and says adieu,
Leaves boy alone,
To fight life’s battles, alone.

East or west, no hope,
North or South, hopelessness looms large,
Boy with no one to turn to,
Contemplates ‘voluntary termination’.

Goes to his room, he does,
Bolts it tight, air tight,
With a rope around his nape,
He hangs from the roof.

His body swings to and fro,
Flies compete for space,
The lifeless form,
A vivid picture of broken dreams and aspirations

THE MAN IN THE COFFEE BEANS...

Check out your concentration level...(are you as good as you claim to be?!)

In this pix of coffee beans there is a man's face. This is bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious. Once you find him - it's embarrassing, and you wonder why you didn't see him immediately?



Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, your right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!



And, yes, the man is really there!!!
If you are stuck and cannot find him--the answer is below. Don't scroll down unless you really give up.







Keep looking first before getting the answer. I was sorry I looked and thought this was a joke.










answer: look about 5 beans in from the bottom left hand corner! You'll see your man comfortably ensconced between the coffee beans. Simple, ain't it?

THE "EYE OF GOD"...

This photo is a very rare one, taken by NASA. This kind of event occurs once in 3000 years.

This is a picture NASA took with the Hubbell telescope.

Called "The Eye of God." Awesome, ain't it?

TWIST AND TURN

I have ever experienced what I have encapsulated in the poem below time without number, especially when I was young. Have you ever faced it?!!!

I was in bed,
Between warm sheets,
When it came.

It came,
Like a charging buffalo,
From my kidneys,
Through to my bladder.

It was hot,
I could feel it,
Threatening,
Threatening to gush out,
Through my ‘outer opening’.

I twisted and turned,
Fearing to go out,
Out of the fear of the night,
A moonless, pitch-dark night.

With every twist and turn,
It threatened to explode,
My precious bladder,
If I held it a second longer.

Then I said,
Enough’s enough,
Jumped out of bed,
Shuffled to the door,
And opened it slowly.

Looked outside,
Only the dark greeted me,
The cold gust caressing my face,
I reached for my zip.
And exposed him, the king,
The outer opening,
And at the doorstep,
Released it.

Relief came to me,
As I stood and looked,
At the shiny liquid, hot,
Which was flowing,
Like rivulets,
To the grass nearby

No more twist and turn,
Because from my body,
I let it run.

I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT NIGHT

When father,
Came home drunk,
And all that he did,
Was sheer absurdity.

He took mother up,
And gave her, oh dear,
Such resounding slaps,
That broke all hell loose.

Something snapped in me,
That I yelled in the night,
And walked with all my might,
Towards him, my father.

He came towards me,
Hazarded a punch,
It came right to me,
Right under my nose.

Mother yelled,
I yelled,
Father roared,
Keep your mouths shut!

Neighbours came, but,
Were sent back,
The way they'd come,
By this drunk called father.

What had father taken?
What had happened to him?
Coz he'd never been like that,
Not till that night.

I'll never forget that night,
Not till I breathe my last,
Coz hell, to me, broke loose,
On that dark, cold night.

OF POLITICAL UPHEAVALS AND A STORMY PAST

In the days of yore kenyans' political ken suffered such dearth,
Political simulation, stimulation incomprehensible,
Legion political 'achilles heels' looming large in stormy seas,
Such was the tune, of such no panacea promised respite.
With the advent of a new regime,
Political turbulence 'seemed' to be 'burnt to a frazzle',
Hodge-podge politicking was thrown out the window,
Magnified promises to the masses graced the billboards.

Time flew fast and with it came a 'new' breeze,
A recrudescence of past ills set in on our soil,
Power wrangling, 'power fisticuffs' so to speak,
Were replete in our mainstream press.

Then it came our way, a giant two-headed bug,
As it set in, a loud bang ensued,
Then silence, a silence reminiscent of a calm in a storm,
The 'eye of the storm' spinning in murderous frenzy.

Everything in disarray, in shambles,
As the bug wend its way into the coffers,
Lining many a ministers insatiable pocket,
With dollars, pounds, Euros, shillings.

Anglo Leasing's the giant bug,
That has sucked the blood of the 'common mwananchi',
It 'engulfed' my hard-earned supper yesterday,
And cast me a look that bespoke penury in my posterity.

I HAD A DREAM

In that dream you lay,
by my side,
your body smooth, lithe and sleek.
I reached out to touch and caress you,
but you were gone,
taken by the wind.
I cried myself hoarse,
into the cold night.

How grieving it has been,
to live without you,
without your warm,
charming smile,
that brought life,
and life abundantly,
to my lonely heart.