The 'inappropriateness of fear'

Fear is one of the things in life that we have to come to terms with. When fear knocks on the door of your mind, behold your vision, your goal.
Think of the infinite power within your subconscious mind that can generate your thinking and imagining. This will give you confidence, power and courage. Keep on, persevere, until the day breaks and the shadows flee away.

I wrote the poem below some time ago when I was faced with a certain fear...

When fear sets in

Confusion: a tremor,
Cascades down the femur,
Paroxysms of terror,
Rack the anterior posterior.

Uncertainty: mother of doubt,
Leaves many a limb in want,
As the monster surges oft,
Into and out of many a pint.

Collywobbles: butterflies wreak havoc,
Skipping, jumping in the colossal sac,
And the thought 'If I sink',
Draws out life with one suck.

Nerves: on edge and wild,
The scream goes with the wind,
A cloud of jagged nerves left behind,
More serene tranquility? I dare find.

Of rides and crazy fellows

Have you ever travelled at the back of an open lorry on a rough, bumpy country road? If you have, then the poem below 'holds' a similar experience. I promise you, it's not the best of experiences.

A ride I took on 22nd of December 2001 occasioned the poem below. I was travelling to a certain part of Nyahururu in Central Kenya to attend the wedding ceremony of a friend. The place was Shamata.
And to digress, Shamata is well known for two principal things: biting cold and potatoes. When I arrived I looked like a baboon as I had ridden at the back of a lorry. What with dust all over my face, clothes and shoes, swollen hands and a throbbing headache! I hate to remember the experience.

Rough, bumpy ride

'twas on 22nd December,
The year two thousand and one,
When the mother of all bumpy rides,
Called out my three names.

I took my place in the lorry,
Sweet peace inundated my heart,
As I thought of a smooth ride,
A ride to 'potato-infested' Shamata.

Hell broke loose,
When this crazy fellow,
Took the steering wheel,
And slammed on the gas pedal.

I was thrown up and backwards,
I danced sideways, east and west,
My whole body shook,
My blood froze.

My eyes popped out,
As I saw death calling me,
All the while the crazy fellow,
Drove on in murderous frenzy.

In and out of every pothole,
Was the name of the game,
As I bumped my head,
I said my last prayer:

God you created this crazy guy,
You created me in the same style,
So why should I lose my life,
Because of his madness, why Lord?

God at once said:
I created you, Yes,
But I don't remember,
Telling you to be in this lorry!

With every mile we took,
Dust masked my face,
Red-brown dust,
Made me a human baboon.

As the lorry creaked and wailed,
So did my bones threaten,
Threaten to break,
If the crazy fellow didn't stop.

I cried and called out,
But the engine swallowed my voice,
So, ofcourse, I had no choice,
But to swallow the bitter pill.

At last,
The lorry drew to a stop,
After swallowing miles without number,
Miles I will live to curse.

The 'back' was opened,
And out jumped a baboon,
A baboon in white shirt and checked coat,
A baboon that asked for water.

All who saw me,
Nearly ran for their lives,
And shook their heads at a distance,
Wondering, why a baboon in Shamata.

But all said and nearly done,
I'll live to hate crazy fellows,
I'll live to detest blue lorries,
Which love to create baboons.

The all necessary liquid from above, but then…

It beats me when people say one thing while in essence they mean something totally different: they say 'red' while they mean 'black'. This kind of vacillation is very evident especially in matters concerning the weather. When it's cold, they want it hot; when it's hot, they want it freezing!( Blue blistering b…!)

The poem below was occasioned by this human response to the capricious quality of weather.

God's country
The sun rises with renewed anger,
With rage, it 'serves' its heat,
To the life below;
People cower,
Plants shrink and droop –
Heat by day, cold by night,
Days turn to months.

Plants, angered by this routine,
Refuse to bear fruit,
Making futile the efforts of man,
To till, level and sow,
On dry ground,
Famine envelops the country

Leaves turn brown and crispy,
Shed they are, wanted no more,
Plants wither, and zap! disappear,
People grow thin
And, a "sun tan's" a must.

After months on end,
Clouds sparsely gather,
Becoming a big, black mass,
They growl, declaring war on sun,
Then they spit to the ground,
Their hard-earned spittle.

Plants less with anger,
And full of bloom, sprout,
Giving the country a green,
Expanse of leafy mass,
That promises fruit,
To hungry beings.

People gain weight,
Eating the fruits of their labour,
Mud spoils their shoes,
Colds cost their pay,
The weather spoils their day,
Is all thanks they have to God.

BACHELORS’ PENDULUM

Gregory is a dude who is well into his thirties (thirty-five to be precise). For a guy of his age, all and sundry would expect him to be married or at least have the thought uppermost in his mind. But that’s nowhere near the truth. Tying the nuptial cord, to him, is not an option at present.

As he says: “I am so preoccupied with myself that I doubt I would have any time for a mate. She would utterly be disenchanted with the whole shebang faster than it takes a bomb to explode. Furthermore, men are as old as they feel, women as old as they look. Y' know what 'am saying.” Talk of a diehard bachelor!

Brothers let’s get this straight: Who is the perfect bachelor? Well, this question might be somewhat tricky to answer bearing in mind that there are two types of bachelors: Confirmed and Eligible.

The confirmed one intends never to marry while the eligible one is regarded as very suitable to be chosen as a husband.

Marriage is said to be a haven of bliss (or what are we told?). Now what would make a man intend never to marry and be very adamant to change.

Most brothers in this category hold on to one line: we need freedom. We need to do our thing, go home at any time we wish {even the so-called ungodly hours} and have no one raise an eyebrow or even ask the dreaded ‘where-were-you?’ question.

Raymond is one guy who has vowed never to marry. “Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside eagerly desperate get out. Why should I want to get in while those purported to enjoy marital bliss want out. What would make me behave differently?” he poses to me, all the while throwing me a don’t-you-think-I-am-right look. I maintain a bland face.

Nevertheless, dear bros, to say the truth, I don't think marriage is as black as it is painted. You know, truth is tough. It will not break like a bubble at a touch. You may kick it about all day, like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.

In marriage there is freedom. Freedom from almost all the hustles that bachelors go through. You enjoy some real intimacy {not the hit and run!}. And it goes without saying that you look forward to going home early. What with the house warmed for you and the food steaming on the table!

Best of all, bros, when you cough, someone comes running to your side at the speed of lightning and with a warm loving pat on the back asks, “Dear, how do you feel?” As if that’s not enough, a hot kiss is planted on your lips. Your jagged nerves suddenly come alive.

Hey you dudes out there don’t get mad at me. That’s my own opinion.

Sample this array of my original quotes

Sample this array of my original quotes

1. The end of education is when you know everything yet you know nothing at all!
2. The present is the memory of the morrow.
3. You cannot escape your shadow in the sun.
4. Wisdom is answering when you know the question. Most people don't know the difference.
5. To come to terms with your 'fear', face it (thing making you fear) with profound calm, boldness and courage. Face it head on.
6. When you have nothing to say, you say it very well.
7. Think twice before acting once!
8. Whatever comes easy goes easy.
9. What you think is not, is what is!
10. You want to learn more about yourself – catch yourself unawares!
11. I'd rather live up to what I don't say rather than not live up to what I say.

12. A question that sets the pace for moral and character adjustment:
If you were your son, would you be proud of yourself?

13. Idea is the father of action. Action is the visible effect of an idea. So the core, the bottom line is have ideas. Let them charge you with exceeding vim and you'll marvel at the wondrous exploits you'll manage.

14. Threaten not to do that which you have no guts to perform.

15. There's no greater sin of 'character assassination' than negative generalization.

Check these out quotes that will uplift you.

Hanging on a string and barely holding on

There are some people who've gone through this patch in their lives. And they can associate with what is encapsulated in the poem below – a feeling of dejection, utter loneliness and guilt. If you know people who are going through such a rough patch, talk to them and try to show them love. I promise you, they need it 'badly' and urgently…

Hanging on a string

Thoughts,
Constrict my heart,
With every thought,
My heart pains.

Thoughts,
Of what I didn't do,
And should have,
Always stalk me.

Thoughts,
Of what I did,
And should not have,
Smile at me.

Thoughts,
Of a beloved friend,
Who passed away,
Grin at me.

Thoughts, come and go,
Of an intimate friend,
Who said enough's enough,
And took her leave.

These thoughts,
Take me down,
Deep down,
To a place of no return,

I'm left,
Gasping for breath,
Gasping for air,
That really isn't there.

These thoughts, like acid,
Eat at my heart,
They eat and eat and eat,
And leave horrid, gaping holes.

These holes wear out my heart,
And with every thought added,
I surely do say, verily,
My life is hanging on a string.

Spouses out there 'for better or for worse' please don't do this to your partner

There is this behaviour that's definitely not healthy. I hate the feel, mention and 'sight' of it. It breaks many a home and drills horrid holes in the hearts of husbands, wives and children. Let's join our hands and fight against it. First things first: let us not get involved in it. Let's drop our inordinate affections and discourage others who are wallowing in this quagmire. The sickening behaviour I am talking about here is what we know as an extra-marital affair.

Extra-marital

My wife isn't enough,
My husband's too tough,
I need someone rough,
Someone who can laugh.

All these, quite possibly,
Lead people, so visibly,
The extra-marital way, I dare say,
To many, it's the only way.

Today here tomorrow there,
Jumping into the lair,
Which isn't rare,
To those who can't pair.

Breaking the marital bond,
Is the rule of many a blonde,
From this man to the other,
While she has another.

Extra-marital is the name,
Of this dirty game,
None surpasses its fame,
And boy, does it leave many lame!

It carries all the shame,
And Surely, it's the same,
As jumping from the frying pan,
Right into the fire van.

Day dreams

My eyes take a far away look,
This thought and that,
Take their form in my mind.

Suddenly I am soaring high up in ecstasy,
Everything good and beautiful,
Is mine for the taking.

But then this thought changes,
As suddenly as it came,
Bringing with it all the shame.

In the thought,
I'm a hopeless wretched bird,
Who's got nowhere to fly,
For there's no security anywhere.
The thought claws at me,
Like a hungry, angry panther,
But the good thing's that,
It's only a bad day dream.

Everytime I sit and look up,
And do nothing at all,
They creep on me, and attack,
I'm always lost in day dreams.

I think

Sometimes a thing comes into my head,
That makes me think,
Think of my life,
Think of my future,
Yes, wonder what will become of me.

Where am I headed for?
What does the future hold for me?
Am I headed for destruction?
Or is there a bright light,
At the end of this dark tunnel?
I think…

Rain

A long streak of light,
Thin and white,
Flashed through the sky,
And then bang!
The clouds clashed,
Fought and battled.

One of the clouds died,
In the fight that ensued,
The others started crying,
Over the loss of one,
Of their beloved friends.
Rain was what we called,
The tears that were wept.

Dealing with problems: where do you fall?

Different people have different ways of dealing with problems and difficulties. Some of the means and ways are politic and advisable while others are no-brainers.

Check what you would do…

a). Are you one who would opt to fill the cracks instead of finding out why there are cracks (to avert something even more sinister from seeing the light of day)?

b). Are you one who would paint the cracks to make them 'invisible'?

c). Are you one who would dig up the sides of the foundation to find out why the building is shaky?

d). Are you one who would literally demolish the building, the cost of the building notwithstanding, to build a more stable one in its place?

e). Are you one who would run after lizards that crawl out of the cracks, instead of paying attention to many a cranny threatening the stability of your building?

f). Are you one who would sit by, arms folded and watch as the building crumbles in one big heap?

g). Are you one who would exhibit the ostrich syndrome. That is, hide your head in the sand and think that because you cannot see the enemy (read problem) then he is non-existent?
Talk of denying and circumventing nitty-gritty!

Of misconstruction and the weight of words

I first read the words that I have reproduced here below when I was a student at Starehe Boys' Centre – Nairobi. They were the first things I saw when I went to read the notices on the Notice Board. During my student years (in the late eighties and early nineties) these words gave me the drive to do my best even when failure looked me in the face.

After school they got me into a grave problem once when I started working – I was fired! I lost a job that was my lifeline at the time. The day before I was fired, I had handwritten them and glued (so crude of me!) the sheet of paper on the Notice Board for my colleagues to read and get inspired. Little did I know that the Manager would consider the words as an insult to the company and her person. She tore the paper and bound menacingly to her office with the shreds in her hands. She sent someone to call me. Having witnessed the unfolding 'melodrama' I knew I was in for it. How right my premonition was! I was summarily dismissed and only a vague explanation for the action was forthcoming. I later pieced the pieces of the jigsaw and came to know the why and wherefore of the unwarranted dismissal. She had thought my aim was to kindle the ire of the workers against her – what with poor pay, unconducive working environment and lack of transparency. She really had every reason to be scared but my aim was far from that – as far as the heavens are from the earth!
Anyway, situations like these hone and shape us, don't they?

Sample the piece…

STRUGGLE IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE


You want the good things in life. You want more money, power and status in the office. You want to drive around town in a spanking new car. And you want to invite your many friends to your sprawling house to meet your beautiful wife and charming children. Also you want a healthy body, a quicker wit and a more sparkling personality.
Well, you can have all these and many more if you are willing to pay the price. These things are expensive, very expensive. And for most people, too expensive. They demand more than wealth or talent. They demand courage. The courage to work hard even when you feel underpaid and unrecognized. The guts to keep working hard.
Essentially life demands struggle. Everyday has to be a day of struggle. Once one can accept this stark truth as something positive, one can start to get ahead. Struggle allows us to refine our talents. It is the intense heat that burns the dross. It is the alchemy that turns one into pure gold.
There is no magic in the real world. In fantasy wonderful things happen of their own accord. But this is not the way the real world works. The universal law is simple: YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
If you are tired, it is not due to struggle. Struggle does not tire: it uplifts and rejuvenates: it brings about the best in the human spirit.
If you feel that life is hard, you have not faced your toughest adversity: Your own negative thinking. Struggle means pushing ahead no matter what. It means investing your hopes and energies even in a cause that seems hopeless. Struggle is a mark of heroism, and the difference between winners and losers.
Life is for the living. It is a struggle, challenge, change, disaster and triumph. Forget your multiple fortunes. If you can forge a win of iron by fighting through the thick of misfortune then the world is your oyster. There is no easy way to reap what you think you deserve. You have to fight for it all the way.
At this moment you are where you deserve to be. If you are surrounded by abundance, it is because you have the heart of a lion. If you are surrounded by scarcity, it is because you've not dared to challenge yourself to rise against adversity. Struggle is the meaning of life.
If you want more from your life, ask what you have done to deserve more. Don't sit around lost in daydreams: ONLY ACTION WILL REDEEM YOU.
From now on, think your way into a dynamic and confident state of mind and being. Strive to be that little bit better in everything you do in everyday struggle! Crawl up that mountain! Go for it! ~!

(By the way, are these words still on the Starehe Boys' Centre main Notice Board?)

Sample this cocktail of twisty brain teasers

Sample this cocktail of twisty brain teasers…

1. There are twins and they were born on the same day and year (of course, this is obvious!). One is thirty and the other is thirty too. They were born in April and their birthdays are in May. Can you make sense of this?

2. A man and a dog were walking down the road. The man rode, Yet, the dog, walked. What was the dog's name?

3. It cannot be seen,
Cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard,
Cannot be smelt.
It lies behind stars,
And under hills,
And empty holes it fills.
It comes first,
And follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter?
What's it?

4. It's the beginning of the end and the end of time and space. What's it?

(How about some on kinship ties?)

5. It's unlawful to marry your widow's sister in Africa. Why do you think this law was instituted?

6. Who is the sister to your mother's brother?

7. Who is the daughter of the daughter of your mother's grandmother?

8. How are you related to your brother-in-law's wife's grandmother's husband?

ALL YE LOVERS OF A, B, ...(HEAR ME OUT)

All ye lovers of A,B,...,
You know what I am gonna say, maybe,
That when you write some A,B,...,
Your hearts leap with joy.

I implore you all A, B-ists,
Wherever you may traverse and sojourn,
Carry around your arms,
Piece of paper and pen.

Coz, some idea may stalk you,
As a panther does a deer,
And before it goes riding with the wind,
You will have it down on paper.

This you might have heard,
A good idea is worth your eye teeth,
Protect it however you can,
Shelter it from marauding elements.

Fellow A, B-ists, I adjure thee,
Like a soldier ready with a gun,
Ready to strike, ready to vanquish,
So should you be with paper and pen.

SOMETIMES

Have you ever found yourself in such a situation? I - times without number!!

Sometimes when I sit
Sit at my desk,
I just look up,
And wonder,
What am I going to write,
On the white, totally white,
Sheet of paper infront of me?
What's the first line of the poem?

Oh my!

Yes, yes, I got it,
But then a wind comes,
And blows it right out of me,
And goes riding high up,
With the wind,
To a distant land,
A land of 'forgetfulness',
Never to be thought of again.

AIDS: THE WAKE OF A NEW, DISTORTED GENERATION

Aids claims many souls by the hour and only God knows what percentage of our population carries the 'fatal' virus. The statistics of the spread of the virus is earth-shatttering, to say the least!

A cry here , a cry there,
The whole world's crying,
The whole world's weeping,
The whole wide world's lamenting,
Grieving, solemn, in tears.

Mothers lamenting their children,
Children grieving for their parents,
Everyone's broken-hearted,
Everyone's cracked, soiled,
Confused, shaken and exhausted.

In the wake of the blooming youth years,
With all the blazing, fiery flames of youth,
Aids comes, is embraced, welcomed,
Into the cells it wends its way,
The candle of life prematurely snuffed out.

To all and sundry it flashes a smile,
"Come," says it, enticingly, sweetly,
Many rush into the eye of the storm,
They twist and turn in its unending,
Revolution of painful suffering.

Boys and girls hear me out,
Men and women incline your ears,
Aids is a fact and for real,
Guard your ways, block the doors,
Aids is an 'unwelcome intruder'.

Say no to Aids,
No more, no less!